


you're here where you should be

by homewrecker



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Diaz Family Feels, Fluff, M/M, christopher steering the plot again, tiny bit of UST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:18:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21640636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homewrecker/pseuds/homewrecker
Summary: “I think your dad wanted the Christmas picture to just be family,” Buck explained with an encouraging smile.Christopher just looked even more sad and confused. “I thought you were family?”
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 41
Kudos: 1294





	you're here where you should be

**Author's Note:**

> This fic's song is Underneath the Tree by Kelly Clarkson

The one thing that Eddie’s family made him promise when he left El Paso was that he had to send a Christmas card every year. Eddie had never done one back in Texas because he didn’t know what people would think when they saw that Shannon was absent from it. But for their first Christmas in LA, he and Christopher took their very first Christmas picture, and Eddie sent it out to all of his family members. He even hung one on the fridge at the fire station. 

He and Chris had used the self-timer on his abuela’s old camera, and it at been an absolute disaster. He would’ve given up on the picture all-together if it wasn’t for the knowledge that his family would kill him for doing so. 

This year, he and Chris were planning on taking the picture when Chris got out of school that day. It was the team’s day off so Eddie asked Buck to be their photographer to make things run more smoothly. He’d rather his family kill him than try to figure out the self-timer again. 

Eddie was dropping Chris off at school when he remembered he hadn’t mentioned that Buck was coming to take their picture. He smiled as he bent down in front of him, knowing his son would be ecstatic at the news. 

“Hey buddy, I forgot to tell you. Buck is coming to take the Christmas picture after school.”

Chris immediately let out a cheer, wrapping his arms around his dad before heading off to the school building with a new pep in his step. Eddie laughed and watched him go. Chris was always excited to see his Buck. 

—

Eddie spent the day catching up on grocery shopping and other household errands and it wasn’t long until he was back at the school to get Christopher. 

Chris usually spent the ride home telling Eddie everything he did at school that day, but today all he could focus on was how excited he was to see his Buck. Eddie smiled and shook his head. Only recently had the three of them reunited, and things couldn’t have been better. He could tell Buck still felt guilty about everything... but maybe the more time they spent together, the faster that guilt would fade away. 

Buck was already there when they got home, much to Christopher’s delight. They found him sitting in the living room eating from a bag of Doritos that he’d definitely stolen from Eddie’s cabinet. 

Chris made his way over to give Buck a hug and then immediately turned his attention to the Doritos. 

Eddie’s heart stopped and he leaped across the room to snatch the bag out of reach. 

“Christopher, buddy, remember what I said about messy snacks before the picture?”

Christopher shrugged but burst into mischievous laughter, telling Eddie everything he needed to know. Buck immediately joined in on the laughter, which only set Christopher off even more. 

Eddie sighed and tried not to smile. “C’mon, buddy. Let’s go get dressed for the picture while Buck sets up the camera.”

Buck saluted him and headed over to the camera bag and tripod leaning in the corner of the room. 

Eddie changed into a maroon sweater and khakis and tried to fix his hair up a bit. There wasn’t really anything to do with it now that it was short, but he figured he’d at least try. 

When he stopped by Christopher’s room, his son had already gotten himself dressed. He had on a cream sweater from Eddie’s abuela and khakis. Buck was knelt behind him in the mirror, fastening the snowman tie that Carla had picked out. 

“I’m surprised you even know how to do that,” Eddie joked, smiling down at his boys. 

Buck rolled his eyes at Eddie but reluctantly smiled when Christopher let out a giggle. “I actually didn’t know how until like, last year. Bobby had to show me... For my first date with Abby.”

Eddie was hit with sudden annoyance at the name. Buck hadn’t mentioned Abby in a while, but as Buck’s best friend he was allowed to feel annoyed at the mention of the woman who left him. That’s what he told himself anyway. 

“Picture time!” Christopher cheered turning to smile at his dad. 

Eddie took in his son all dressed up, a giant smile on his face and Buck knelt behind him with a matching smile, and he couldn’t help but tear up for a moment. 

Every Christmas he’d had since Christopher was born had been painful in one way or another— and this one was sure to be with the loss of Shannon. But for some reason, it felt like it was going to be the least-lonely Christmas yet. Sure, Christmas in El Paso consisted of his entire family, but he always felt distanced from them because he knew they were judging him for Shannon’s absence. Especially during the holidays. 

Eddie stepped out of the way and followed Chris and Buck into the living room. Eddie had Christopher sit on the couch so he could position the camera correctly. Once he was satisfied with the frame, he sat down with Christopher and tugged him into his lap. Buck got settled behind the camera and gave them a thumbs up. “Say cheese!” 

Eddie smiled on command, but instead of “saying cheese”, Christoher looked between Buck and Eddie and started cracking up. “What are you doing over there, Buck,” he giggled, acting like they had been playing a joke on him and he’d figured it out. 

“What do you mean, buddy? I’m taking the picture,” Buck explained, giving Eddie a confused shrug. 

Christopher looked between them again and his laughter slowly died out when he saw that they weren’t understanding the joke. 

“I thought Buck was gonna be in the picture,” Christopher frowned. 

Eddie and Buck looked at each other with matching expressions of shock on their faces. “What made you think that, buddy?” Eddie asked slowly. 

“You said he was coming over to take the picture,” Christopher explained simply, his frown deepening. 

Eddie thought back to that morning with Christopher. He did say that, but he meant Buck was literally going to take the picture for them. 

No wonder why Chris had been so excited. 

“I think your dad wanted the Christmas picture to just be family,” Buck explained with an encouraging smile. 

Christopher just looked even more sad and confused. “I thought you were family?”

The smile dropped from Buck’s face, and Eddie could tell that he was immediately feeling guilty— thinking that he had let down Christopher once again. 

“You’re right, buddy,” Eddie said quickly. “Buck is family, so he should be in the picture.” He made sure to look right at Buck when he said it so that Buck knew that he meant it. So he knew that Eddie wasn’t just saying it for Christopher’s sake. 

Buck’s mouth dropped open a little as he stared back, looking like he couldn’t believe what Eddie was offering. But Christopher’s loud cheer snapped them out of it. 

Buck suddenly looked down at his t-shirt and jeans and looked back up with an embarrassed smile. “I’m not exactly dressed to be in your picture,” he argued. “I don’t think so, anyway. I’ve never actually done one of these.”

Eddie’s heart broke at the hint of shame he saw in Buck’s eyes. 

He obviously had noticed that Buck and Maddie had never once mentioned their parents... but he never asked about it. He didn’t want to push. After everything Buck and Maddie had been through, after all the times they almost died, not once had their parents shown up to make sure they were okay. Eddie didn’t know what the story was there, but he knew he didn’t want Buck to be sad about people that didn’t deserve his sadness. 

“Come with me,” Eddie said, sliding Christopher off of his lap and heading for the hallway. “You can borrow a sweater of mine.”

Buck followed him into his room and Eddie rummaged through his dresser. 

He pulled out the only two other sweaters that he owned at the moment and handed them to Buck. 

Buck looked between the sweaters— one black, one dark green— and shrugged at Eddie. “Which one?”

“The dark green one,” Eddie answered a little too eagerly. Buck raised his eyebrows but didn’t say anything. 

“I’ll go set up the self-timer while you change,” Eddie mumbled as he ducked his head and brushed past Buck. 

Buck caught his wrist and pulled him back, looking over at him a nervous smile. “Thank you,” he whispered as he gave Eddie’s wrist a gentle squeeze, and Eddie knew it was meant for more than just letting him borrow a sweater.

Eddie nodded softly and slid his wrist out of Buck’s grip so he could squeeze his hand for a moment. “There’s no need for that, Buck,” Eddie insisted. “Now hurry up. Christopher is probably getting impatient for his after-school snack.”

Buck chuckled and pulled his t-shirt off. Eddie’s breath caught in his throat as he watched. He’d seen Buck change countless times before, but there was something strangely intimate about Buck changing in Eddie’s room and into Eddie’s clothes. Like Buck was meant to be there for other reasons. 

“You just gonna stand there and watch?” Buck joked as he picked up the sweater. 

Eddie shrugged but otherwise didn’t move. “I need to make sure the sweater looks good for the picture,” he reasoned, his heart speeding up. 

Buck bit his lip and sized Eddie up for a moment. “Let’s do this, then,” he decided, pulling the sweater over his head. 

Eddie let himself eye Buck’s torso while the sweater was blocking his vision. His body stretched up with his arms, and Eddie had the sudden urge to slide his hands up the skin of Buck’s sides and guide the sweater back off. 

Buck pulled it the rest of the way down his body and straightened it out before presenting himself to Eddie. 

“So? Am I hot enough for your picture?”

Eddie pretended to think for a moment as he eyed the way his sweater stretched a little bit tighter across Buck’s shoulders. Dark green had always looked amazing on Buck. Something about it made his eyes look even bluer and his lips look pinker in a way that Eddie never should have noticed to begin with. 

“It’ll do,” Eddie sighed, giving Buck an uninterested shrug. 

Buck’s mouth dropped open in offense, eyes gleaming in a way that left Eddie feeling thrilled— a feeling that distinctly reminded him of a conversation that they had in Buck’s kitchen a week before. 

Buck stepped forward into Eddie’s space, ready to— ready to what? Eddie didn’t know. 

And he wouldn’t get to find out, because Christopher’s voice was suddenly ringing down the hallway and breaking them out of whatever game they were starting to play. 

“Daddy! Buck! Come on!”

Eddie quickly looked away from Buck and gestured toward the door. “Told you he’d get impatient,” he laughed awkwardly before heading out of his room and back to Christopher. 

He focused himself on setting up the self-timer, but just like the year before, it was a disaster. He just couldn’t figure out how to make the little blinking light go on. Buck came over to help and Eddie tried not to get flustered at their fingers touching as they fiddled with the camera settings. He reasoned that he was just nervous about having someone else in his Christmas card for the first time. 

“Got it,” Buck cheered, bumping his shoulder against Eddie’s. 

“It’ll wait ten seconds then take the picture. But I set it so that it’ll take three pictures. Starting... now!”

Eddie and Buck bolted over to the couch and sat down on either side of Christopher. They position him halfway onto both of their laps. Buck threw his arm around the back of Eddie’s shoulders and pulled him closer. Eddie went to hold Christopher in place with his free hand, but Buck was already doing so. He panicked as he tried to figure out what to do with his arm, and the camera was starting to blink more rapidly, so at the last second he just grabbed onto Buck’s hand that was positioned on his shoulder. 

They all plastered smiles on their faces as the camera shutter went off for the first time. But by the third shutter-click, Eddie knew their smiles were all real as Chris giggled between him and Buck. 

Eddie got up and grabbed the camera. He was praying that at least one picture had come out okay— he wasn’t about to set up another self-timer. 

He grinned when he saw the third picture. All three of them had been on the verge of laughter— smiles big and eyes bright. And they were all leaning into each other as if they weren’t already as close as they could possibly get. 

He brought the camera over to the couch so that Chris and Buck could get a look at it. 

Christopher was delighted, of course. Buck was grinning, too, and Eddie’s heart stuttered when he saw that Buck’s eyes were watering a bit. He thought back to what Buck said about never doing a Christmas picture before, and was suddenly overwhelmed with the need to pull him into a hug. 

But Eddie figured he’d prefer some alone time to get himself together. 

“Hey buddy, why don’t we go to the kitchen and make you a snack? You must be starving,” Eddie said, purposely leaving the camera with Buck as he scooped Christopher off of the couch and headed to the kitchen. 

Buck joined them a few minutes later and Eddie pretended not to notice the slight redness around his eyes. 

——

It wasn’t until after Christopher was put to bed and Buck had left that Eddie was able to transfer the photo to his laptop. He logged into his Shutterfly account that he’d made strictly for the Christmas card the year before and pulled up the picture. It automatically put the picture into the same format from the previous year. 

There was a cheesy frame of mistletoe around the picture. The top of the card simply said “Merry Christmas!” while the bottom said “Love, the Diaz family.”

Eddie clicked on the bottom text box to edit Buck’s name into the picture and hesitated. What was he supposed to write? “The Diaz family and Buck”? That was just awkward. Plus, the whole point of Buck being in the photo was to show he was family. 

Eddie deleted the whole line and sighed. He stared at the empty box for what felt like ages before he finally typed something in. He pressed the order button before he could second-guess himself. The website took a minute to process the order before finally finishing up— and then he was left staring at the picture of the card that he’d just ordered three-dozen copies of. The card he’d be sending to all three-dozen of his closest relatives. The card that he would hang on the fridge at the fire station and pass out to all of his team members. 

It was still just Eddie, Buck, and Christopher sitting together smiling. With Eddie in maroon, Buck in dark green, and Christopher in cream, it looked like their outfits were intentionally coordinated. 

Eddie and Buck were clearly leaning against each other behind Christopher, and all Eddie could see was how his hand was gently holding Buck’s against his own shoulder. And how happy he looked while he did it. 

They looked like a married couple with their son. 

What really sent the message home was the text at the bottom, which simply read:

“From our family to yours.” 

Eddie suddenly couldn’t breathe as he took in the card he’d made. As he remembered the love and longing in Buck’s eyes when he’d seen the picture earlier that day. 

He tossed his laptop to the side and stood up, pacing back and forth in the center of the living room as he tried to get his chest to loosen. 

He thought about the disappointed look on Christopher’s face whenever it was time for Buck to go home to his empty apartment, and how that feeling was always reflected in Eddie’s own chest. 

Eddie would attribute his next move to the lack of oxygen in his brain as he pulled out his phone and tapped on Buck’s contact. 

Buck answered faster than Eddie was expecting, which meant he had no time to get his thoughts together. “Eddie? Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” Eddie assured before immediately taking it back. “No, actually. Are you at your apartment?”

Buck took a few seconds to answer. “Uh, no, actually. I went for a ride after I left.”

“Come back,” Eddie blurted, holding his breath as he waited for Buck’s answer. 

“...Okay? I’ll head over now. What’s wrong?”

“You never should have left,” Eddie whispered, and he could hear the desperation in his voice past the ringing in his ears. 

He heard an intake of breath on the other end before Buck answered. “I’ll be there in five,” he assured, before cutting the line off. 

Eddie kept pacing until headlights filled the living room. He opened the door as Buck was walking up the porch, stepping aside to let him in. Buck closed the door behind him with an apprehensive look on his face. 

Eddie just pulled him into the hug that he should have given him earlier that day. Buck immediately melted into it, as he always did, and Eddie let himself hold on even tighter. 

“Stay here tonight?” Eddie whispered, lips brushing against Buck’s neck.

“Of course,” Buck responded, pulling back to give Eddie a relieved smile. 

What Eddie actually meant was “stay here forever”, but from the hopeful look in Buck’s eyes, Eddie was pretty sure he knew.

**Author's Note:**

> It's so weird not having smut or even a kiss... idk happy holidays y'all  
twitter: @ryanguzmansgf  
insta: @buckandeddie


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